Site Book - Getting (More of) What You Want. How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life by Margaret A. Neale, Thomas Z. Lys
.
Unlocking the Hidden Power of Negotiation: A Deep Dive into "Getting (More of) What You Want"
Negotiation is not just for boardrooms or high-stakes deals. It’s a daily act of influence, persuasion, and decision-making.
In Getting (More of) What You Want, two of the world's most respected business minds—Margaret Neale and Thomas Lys—deliver a masterclass in strategic negotiation that draws upon cutting-edge research in behavioral economicsand psychology.
This seminal work reveals how even the most routine discussions hold untapped potential for value creation—and how we can systematically capture that value.
Meet the Masters: Neale and Lys
Margaret Neale, a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and Thomas Lys, a scholar at Kellogg School of Management, are not simply theorists.
Their approach combines decades of academic rigor with actionable insights that have transformed corporate boardrooms, startups, and individual careers alike.
They challenge the conventional wisdom of negotiation, redefining it not as a zero-sum battle but as a collaborative process where more value is often left unclaimed than captured.
The Core Message: Know What You Want—and Ask
Central to the book is a deceptively simple question: Do you know what you want? Without this clarity, any negotiation is aimless.
Neale and Lys emphasize that knowing your objectives is not enough—you must also understand your reservation price, BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement), and aspiration point.
These metrics create the framework for effective decision-making and negotiation planning.
They argue that anchoring your expectations high, supported by clear rationale, often results in better outcomes.
Anchors exert a powerful influence—even when irrational—on the other party’s valuation, and the authors explain how to strategically deploy them to shape discussions.
Why Rationality Isn’t Everything: The Role of Cognitive Bias
Much of the book’s power lies in its analysis of the irrational behaviors that derail even seasoned negotiators.
Drawing from robust psychological research, the authors identify how confirmation bias, loss aversion, overconfidence, and framing effects subtly distort outcomes.
Consider this: a majority of people accept subpar deals not due to poor information, but due to emotional reactions like fear of rejection or discomfort with conflict.
Neale and Lys equip readers with tools to diagnose these biases—both in themselves and others—so they can reorient negotiations toward rational, value-maximizing outcomes.
More Than Win-Win: Reclaiming Lost Value
The book goes far beyond the classic "win-win" paradigm. Neale and Lys demonstrate that many negotiations leave immense value on the table, simply because parties fail to probe each other’s interests or explore creative trades.
By focusing solely on price or immediate concessions, negotiators ignore underlying needs, such as flexibility, timing, prestige, or risk.
Using real-world case studies and controlled experiments, they reveal how to unearth hidden currencies of negotiation—intangibles that can be leveraged for mutual benefit.
In doing so, readers are shown how to engineer trades that are psychologically satisfying, and materially superior.
Strategic Empathy: The Competitive Advantage
A standout element in Neale and Lys’s methodology is the call for strategic empathy—the disciplined practice of understanding the other party’s perspective without sacrificing your own interests.
This is not about being “nice,” but about gaining leverage through superior information.
By mapping the incentives, constraints, and goals of the opposing side, negotiators can present proposals that align interests without conceding power.
Neale and Lys offer a structured approach to empathic inquiry, including tactical questioning, nonverbal cue reading, and listening for resistance patterns.
Negotiation in Everyday Life: Beyond the Boardroom
One of the book’s most valuable contributions is its relevance to everyday life. Whether negotiating with a spouse over household duties, a teenager over curfew, or a vendor over pricing, the strategies in Getting (More of) What You Want apply seamlessly.
The authors stress that negotiation is not confined to formal settings. It is a pervasive part of life, and recognizing this opens up continuous opportunities for better outcomes.
With examples ranging from corporate case studies to domestic anecdotes, Neale and Lys prove that mastery of negotiation is a life skill, not merely a business tactic.
Debunking Common Myths
Neale and Lys take aim at several popular myths that compromise negotiation success:
Myth #1: Negotiation is about being aggressive.
Reality: Aggression often triggers resistance. Persuasion, preparation, and empathy are far more effective.
Myth #2: The first offer shows your hand.
Reality: The first offer often sets the frame of the conversation. A well-calibrated first offer can guide the entire negotiation.
Myth #3: It's best to split the difference.
Reality: Compromise without value creation often leads to suboptimal deals for both parties.
By debunking these myths, the authors help readers develop a more nuanced and results-oriented mindset.
The Data Behind the Dialogue: Evidence-Based Insights
Unlike anecdote-driven negotiation books, Getting (More of) What You Want is evidence-based.
The authors ground their advice in empirical studies, including controlled experiments, behavioral simulations, and market data.
This lends credibility and replicability to their guidance, distinguishing it from less rigorous competitors.
In one study cited, participants who prepared with a structured negotiation plan improved their outcomes by 42% compared to control groups.
Another experiment revealed that simply framing proposals as mutual gains rather than demands increased agreement rates by over 30%.
Actionable Frameworks for Immediate Use
Neale and Lys offer practical tools to transform theory into action.
Key frameworks include:
- The Negotiation Preparation Matrix: Clarifies goals, alternatives, walk-away points, and potential trades.
- The Deal Diagnosis Tool: Helps assess whether a proposed agreement reflects maximum value creation.
- Interest Mapping Charts: Visualize overlapping and diverging priorities to identify trading opportunities.
These tools are accompanied by examples and checklists, enabling readers to implement strategies immediately.
Final Verdict: Essential Reading for Negotiation Mastery
Getting (More of) What You Want is not just another negotiation guide—it is a game-changing synthesis of research, real-world experience, and pragmatic instruction.
Neale and Lys illuminate the negotiation process with clarity, wit, and scholarly depth, making this book an indispensable resource for professionals, entrepreneurs, students, and anyone seeking greater agency in their personal and professional lives.
Their message is clear: Negotiation is learnable. Success is repeatable. Value is everywhere.
For those ready to claim more of it, this book is the ultimate starting point.
Book Reviews
"This well-crafted book, which merges ideas and insights from the study of economics and psychology, is about how to negotiate successfully and how to maximise the value that you get from each negotiation." — Irish Times
{getProduct} $button={Book Detail} $price={Get The Book Here} $icon={download}